Do Her No Harm Read online

  Also by Naomi Joy

  The Liars

  The Truth

  DO HER NO HARM

  Naomi Joy

  AN IMPRINT OF HEAD OF ZEUS

  www.ariafiction.com

  First published in the United Kingdom in 2020 by Aria, an imprint of Head of Zeus Ltd

  Copyright © Naomi Joy, 2020

  The moral right of Naomi Joy to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  This is a work of fiction. All characters, organizations, and events portrayed in this novel are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  ISBN: 9781789543773

  Cover design © Cherie Chapman

  Aria

  c/o Head of Zeus

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  London EC1R 4RG

  www.ariafiction.com

  Contents

  Welcome Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Epigraph

  Part 1

  Prologue: Five Years Ago

  Newspaper Report: Five Years Ago

  Annabella: Now

  Tabby: Five Years Ago

  Annabella: Now

  Tabby: Five Years Ago

  Annabella: Now

  Tabby: Five Years Ago

  Annabella: Now

  Part 2

  Rick: Fifteen Years Ago – 2005

  Annabella: Now

  Tabby: Five Years Ago

  Annabella: Now

  Rick: Fifteen Years Ago – 2005

  Annabella: Now

  Tabby: Five Years Ago

  Annabella: Now

  Rick: Fifteen Years Ago – 2005

  Annabella: Now

  Tabby: Five Years Ago

  Annabella: Now

  Rick: Fourteen Years Ago – 2006

  Annabella: Now

  Tabby: Five Years Ago

  Part 3

  Annabella: Now

  Rick: Fourteen Years Ago – 2006

  Annabella: Now

  Tabby: Fourteen Years Ago – 2006

  Annabella: Now

  Rick: Thirteen Years Ago – 2007

  Annabella: Now

  Tabby: Thirteen Years Ago – 2007

  Annabella: Now

  Rick: Thirteen Years Ago – 2007

  Annabella: Now

  Tabby: Thirteen Years Ago – 2007

  Annabella: Now

  Rick: Thirteen Years Ago – 2007

  Annabella: Now

  Tabby: Ten Years Ago – 2010

  Annabella: Now

  Part 4

  Chapter 1

  Annabella: Now

  Chapter 2

  Annabella: Now

  Chapter 3

  Annabella: Now

  Chapter 4

  Kay: Five Years Ago

  Annabella: Now

  Kay: Five Years Ago

  Annabella: Now

  Kay: Now

  Annabella: Now

  Annabella: One Year Later

  Author’s Note

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Become an Aria Addict

  For my wonderful friends

  “All things are poisons and there is nothing that is harmless. The dose alone decides.”

  —Paracelsus (1493–1541).

  PART 1

  Prologue

  Five Years Ago

  20:00: She walks quickly, eyes wide, lips locked. I can’t go back now. She’s nervous. I can tell by the way she holds her handbag tight to her side, the quick-step of her gait, striding in time to the beat of her heart.

  20:10: Her forehead is slick with summer, the thick air surrounding her thin body dense enough to feel. She passes a supermarket with her next step, the automatic doors opening for a moment, the air conditioning catching her peasant-top in the breeze, a glimpse of stomach beneath. She pauses to revel in the cold for a second longer, glittering specks of sweat evaporating from fake-tanned limbs. Her phone hugs the back pocket of her white jeans, printing a bulky rectangle into the material. He sends her a message – no time to waste – and the device vibrates obediently, sending shudders down the backs of her legs. She tells him she’s excited to meet him.

  He’s excited too.

  20:20: Her feet clip-clop to the bar, her toenails painted baby-pink, fingernails to match, plugging in a pair of headphones as she walks, pacing in time to a song about break-ups. Apt. She flicks her newly dyed hair behind bare shoulders and sings along in her head. She’s happy, smiling, whole.

  20:35: She arrives at the location he sent her – three miles from the nearest station – and orders a drink, casting her eyes over every shape in the room, double-checking he’s not here. It’s the kind of place she’d expect for a first date, so she’s not immediately suspicious. It’s upmarket, with velvet-cushioned chairs tucked beneath aged oak tables, bottles of spirits displayed artfully behind the bar.

  She bites her lip, wonders where he is.

  I watch her take a seat and reason with herself: He’s only five minutes late, I should calm down, relax. Maybe there’s bad traffic. Ten minutes later, though, when he hasn’t messaged to explain the hold up, she swallows what’s left of her strawberry daquiri and orders another. Sticky-sweet alcohol snail-trails her top lip and sweat flattens her hair to her neck, her perfect make-up beginning to melt. I watch her wipe her forehead with her serviette, the window across casting shadows on her face. It’s getting late.

  21:30: She’s given it a good hour, sent five messages, called him a few too many times but she’s lost patience now and, as she staggers from her seat – no dinner and five drinks down – the glass to her side thunks to the floor, explodes on impact, and turns heads, eyes spinning in her direction. She hates the attention. All she’d wanted were two eyes on her tonight.

  His.

  Sorry, she offers to the waiter coming over, drunk and disappointed by the evening’s turn of events. Promises had been made. Big ones. She is right to be angry.

  21:32: She leaves the bar, handbag swinging loose, brow knitted in cross-stitches, furious with him. She types one last message, jabbing her fingers into the screen, wanting him to feel the hate she holds. Where were you? I was counting on you. How could you? She staggers from the high street onto the dark roads beyond, walking the backstreets because they make her feel dangerous, because she thinks by acting out she can get his attention. The station is still two miles away, and she’s walking in the wrong direction.

  22:00: From somewhere behind, she hears a car approach. She twists her face over her shoulder to look, her forehead creased in the glare of my full-beam. My vehicle rumbles closer, tyres crunching her way.

  I watch through the windshield as she grows concerned that I’m slowing down, that my window is low. Don’t be scared. You want my help, you just don’t know it yet. Her lips are wet, she’s been crying, and they shine in the bright. She looks away as I draw the car near. I shout to her from the window and, when she sees that it’s me, her expression changes. Lifts.

  Oh thank God, she tells me, chest heaving.

  Newspaper Report

  Five Years Ago

  Disappearance of Tabitha Rice ‘completely out of character’

  Report by Kay Robero for the London Times

  On 21st of August,
Tabitha Rice, a receptionist at the Pure You aesthetic clinic, disappeared from the home she shares with her husband, Rick Priestley.

  As fears grow for her welfare, and the search enters its fifth day without a breakthrough, public concern has reached fever-pitch for the Battersea woman. Her husband, a senior asset manager, spoke to us this morning.

  ‘When I woke up on the 22nd August, my wife was missing. I thought she’d already left for work – she often works early mornings – so, at first, I didn’t think much of it. By Saturday night I was growing extremely concerned. It was then that I put in my first call to the police. I told them that Tabby had been acting erratically in the days before, but that it would be completely out of character for her to leave without talking to me.’

  Rick continues, ‘In response to allegations made in the press by Tabby’s colleague and friend Annabella, that suggest I may have had something to do with Tabby’s disappearance, I want to put it on record that I completely refute the accusation. I am cooperating fully with the authorities and any attempt to undermine my character is an attempt to undermine the search for my wife.

  ‘Tabby, if you can see this, please get in touch. I want to talk, I want to help. Please don’t hurt yourself. Remember that I’m here for you, at home. Please just come back.’

  Annabella

  Now

  I wake up thinking about the last conversation Tabby and I ever had, about the twisted look on her face and the downward curve of her lips. She’d been trying to sell me the idea of quitting our jobs at the white-walled cosmetic clinic we worked at together and running away. At first, I’d thought she’d been joking, or smoking. It was only later that I realised how serious she was. I’d messaged her after work, trying to make amends.

  Sorry. But I can’t do it, I can’t just leave. I have a home, a job I love, a life here in London…

  I curl my fingers round my waist, warm skin heated under the winter duvet, and breathe long. I’ve worked hard to become an aesthetic nurse and I adore what I do. My job is to meet people who feel trapped in the bodies they were born with, people who are desperate to break free but need my help to do so. Not many people know this, but I understand what it’s like to feel that way. At work it’s as though I have a superpower – the gift of transformation – and at the Pure You clinic I get to unleash it every day. Tabby, who worked front-of-house, didn’t understand that. Her job was a job, she worked her hours and went home. But still, I don’t like letting people down. Least of all Tabby.

  ‘Look,’ she’d said, getting serious, tucking blonde hair behind studded ears. ‘Thousands of people travel to Turkey for cheap face lifts and boob jobs, but they’re scared about botched procedures. If we set up our own surgery, we can charge a little more than the Turkish practices but still undercut the prices over here. We’ll absolutely clean up. We’ll be booked out, living on a beach, raking it in…’

  I’d laughed gently, rolled my eyes wishfully, assuming this was a flight of fancy, a daydream Tabby was vocalising. I’d turned away, clicked through the day’s appointments, heat rushing to my fingertips as I’d scrolled through the back-to-back schedule I was only halfway through. There’d be a few minutes for lunch, if I was lucky, if one of my patients was late. I’d started setting up for the next, my mind elsewhere, when Tabby had pressed it.

  ‘What do you think?’ She’d twitched, her eyes following me as I rushed to get the room ready. Her focus was in the wrong place and it had irritated me – it was a busy day and she should have been upstairs on reception, doing her job.

  ‘We’re young,’ she’d said. ‘Now is the time to travel, to explore, to find ourselves. Do you really want to stay in the same city for the rest of your life? Why don’t we just try it, go on an adventure. Six months, even. Or a year.’

  ‘Where has this idea come from?’ I’d asked, straightening the towels on the patient chair, assuming she was going to tell me she’d just read an article about moving to Turkey, that this sudden spontaneity was being driven by something she’d have forgotten about by this time tomorrow.

  ‘I’ve been thinking about it for a while,’ she’d replied, able to read my mind, knowing exactly what I was thinking.

  The phone rang, cutting our conversation short, and I’d picked up. Caroline, the owner of Pure You, was on the other end, slightly flustered, telling me my patient was on her way down, and to send Tabby back up to reception. What is she doing down there? Why am I having to check patients in? What on earth do I pay her for?

  Looking back, I wish I’d taken a breath and been kinder, calmer. Tabby’s invitation, tied with a metaphorical pink bow, hung by a thread. I’d sharpened my scissors.

  ‘Tabby, what do we know about setting up a business, much less running a business? What do we know about the Turkish tax system? About working visas, about marketing our business in the UK, about the new qualifications we might need to get before heading out there, about buying or renting a house for us to live in, about leasing office space, about—’

  She’d stopped me there. She’d called me cautious and pessimistic, too desperate to iron out every detail, to plan our relocation in its entirety before we’d even had an initial conversation about it.

  ‘Please,’ she’d pleaded, wounded by my realism. ‘Just think about it. We can figure out marketing and running a business and everything else together. All I need to know is if you’re at least open to the idea. That’s all.’

  ‘What about Rick?’ I’d asked quickly, keen to nip this in the bud, trying to make Tabby see sense, wanting this delusion to end. ‘Would he come too?’

  She’d tucked her lips defensively, just as I’d heard the smack of a footstep on the stairs. Patient coming down. ‘No,’ she’d replied. ‘Just me and you.’

  And, with that, the motivation behind Tabby’s drastic plan stepped into the light. Rick and Tabby. The switch on their relationship set to off again.

  ‘Rick and I, we’ve been through so much together.’ She’d looked away. ‘But we need some time apart.’

  ‘Does he know that?’

  ‘I think he’s cheating on me,’ she’d said, footsteps approaching the door. ‘He keeps meeting this woman, he says she’s a friend but—’

  A knock at the door, conversation over. As I’d greeted my patient, Tabby had slunk out and retreated to the reception desk upstairs. She’d left work earlier than me, probably annoyed by my reaction and, when I’d messaged her later that night to tell her I was sorry and that I couldn’t leave, she’d ignored me.

  It was the last conversation we ever had.

  *

  On the other side of the shutters, it’s not quite morning but the beginning of the thawing of the night, imperceptible brushstrokes painting the sky from black to indigo to blue. Thoughts of Tabby, and all the guilt and sadness that come with her memory, swirl.

  It’s been almost five years since she disappeared and, to this day, no one has any idea what happened to her. The police led the initial search, pointed a few fingers and shackled a few wrists, then, once the public interest died down, explained to her close friends and family that the hunt for Tabby would be more ‘reactive’ than ‘proactive’ from now on. What it meant was that they were downing tools completely, moving swiftly on to the next missing person, the latest woman lighting up the news agenda. Tabby’s whereabouts were shelved, gathering dust. As soon as the police bowed out, her foster parents scuffed their shoes and shrugged their shoulders, desperate for the whole thing to be over and done with. It was clear to me then that if I didn’t do something, no one would. I went to visit her foster mum, pulled up outside the semi-detached house Tabby had grown up in, hoping for something. Limp-eyed and drunk-she’d sniffled at me to leave it alone, ‘Everything happens for a reason. We just weren’t meant to find her.’

  That explanation might have been good enough for her, but it hadn’t been good enough for me.

  After the police had scaled back their investigation, a private investigator contacted me, o
ffering to dig deeper into the case. At first I wasn’t convinced – he was a sly-eyed, gel-haired American, promising the world in exchange for, basically, all of my savings – but though I was sceptical, it’s fair to say that Chad has delivered some good intel since he picked things up from the police. Today he’s called a meeting, and, as ever, I’m hoping for a breakthrough.

  I swing my legs out from the covers and force myself into loose jeans and a jumper. I strip my covers and pillowcase, ready for the wash, and dust down the bedside tables, anxiety dissipating as I perform these rituals. By the time I pace into the kitchen, I’m ready to fire the coffee machine into action, but I take the time to clean the container with careful cloth-strokes first. As it spouts black water into my cup, I lean against the countertop, breathing in the earthy smell of beans. Today could be a big day.

  The coffee machine bleats behind me and I pull the cup from its position, bringing it to my lips, steam rising. It occurs to me, as I drink, that my optimism shows I probably put too much faith in law and order, in the police, in people like Chad. I want to believe that the system is careful and ordered, that the people in it will do the right thing, act in good faith in any given situation. I swallow, not allowing the thought to go any further. All is not lost. Chad will prove my faith was not in vain. He has to.

  *

  Chad and I always meet in the same dark pub. He sits in the corner with a pint of real ale he doesn’t drink – which, in my opinion, rather draws more attention than it deflects – and gives me the latest. I never ask him anything about his personal life, I don’t care to know, but I’m polite and civil, and, if he ever makes a real breakthrough in the case, perhaps I’ll throw him a bone and ask him if he irons the collars of his Ralph Lauren polos himself or if his long-suffering partner does it for him.

  Feeling hopeful, I make for the bus stop on the corner. My new-build apartment sits just off a major road into the city, a thick artery of tarmac that pumps people into London all day and all night, and the familiar rumble of traffic rises as I walk. The numbers will begin in earnest at the turn of 5 p.m. but, for now, the road is relatively calm and the bus pulls in a few minutes later. I slap my card against the reader and watch my flat shrink into the distance as the bus heaves forward. I wonder if I’ll ever be the kind of person who will own a car. I’m not sure I will – anything above fifty miles per hour and my mind wanders to how easy it would be to kill someone with a careless swerve of my steering wheel, schoolchildren squashed thanks to my split-second distraction at a zebra crossing. Yes, I think. Better to stick to the bus.